Hey Guys!!! I did one for the Story Cardio. I will not lie, i did this in 4 hours not 3, it proved to be a real challenge. I plan on doing one or two more (different stories) soon that are in the actual time limit, but i felt that this was worth putting up anyway. I had a lot of fun with this, and i'm excited to work on some more stories for the other combinations!
This is a Romance kind of...
I chose Circus Performer, and Rodeo Cowboy at an Amusement Park (made most sense...).
I hope it's clear. I had a lot of fun trying to create suspense with the shot cutting, but i'm wondering if that worked or if there is another way i could have created suspense.
I also feel that my shot variation was weak, and that my attention to where the characters where on screen made for some confusing moments, tell me if you agree, or if it reads fine to you?
Ok... DO YOU WORST...
Hey Portlynn!!! I thought this was really cute, and even though I think there were some places that needed one or two more drawings, I thought you did a really good job! The only question I had is what did the cowboy want from the tight rope performer? that was the only thing that wasn't super clear to me (but i get that he changed a bit from a womanizing weirdo into one who loves ^_^).
ReplyDeleteGOOD JOB GIRLY~~!!
Thanks! I agree! I'll be totally honest that while getting the story together, i kind of forgot about the character wanting something from the other. lol. i kind of just decided that the character wanted to save her? haha. But thanks! i'm going to make another one soon.
ReplyDeleteHello there,
ReplyDeletesorry it took so long, Times hard to come bye. BUT
I thought you did a nice job.
Bo is right and you seem to have sorted it out already but I was having a hard time understanding the want. I was a little bit confused as to who the cowboy loved? did he have a girl he walked in with?
But I like the action of him saving the falling girl.
So,
as far a critique goes, these are thumbnails so missing a drawing here or there isn't the worst thing. the storytelling has to read so thats why the questions arise.
Geography is really important at this stage too. I seemed to get a little lost in the scale and orientation of character placement and those things are important at this stage.
Always make sure that we the audience or director knows where everyone is and keep that clear as best as possible.
The tough part about thumbnails are if the box is small we tend to draw medium shots over and over because it's comfortable. so be careful to vary your shots so that it's not just mediums.
but four hours, 90 panels, Story Cardio, id say you did a good job!
I love the gestures and acting, I can see that you are using either a sharpee or felt tip pen and iit's loosened you up. that's great.
nice Portlynn, you're getting better!
clarification;
ReplyDeleteI like the gestures and the falling section BUT the camera was so close to the action it isn't felt very well. so watch out for the medium shots getting in your way of point of the shot.
it would've been better to pull the camera back for shots like those.
nice though.
Thanks Dave!
ReplyDeleteI'll remember staging geography and camera pull backs for later. :-)
It was difficult to think of interesting shots when i had a time limit and a permanent drawing utensil (a lot of thumbs were X'ed out), so i think i stuck to the medium shots for the sack of knowing they would work out immediately. but i totally see how an audience or director could get lost in the geography of it all based on the the lack of boards and the lack of camera pull backs. I had so much fun trying to create the tension in the fall though. I think i'll try to redo this one too but with a more dynamic camera, and more wide shots. :-)
Thanks again!
P.S. I was also giving myself some assignments to practice with and i thought i would post here and show you to hear what you thought. I was thinking of watching a movie everyday, and choosing a scene that i liked and redoing it, and if i thought a scene didn't work, i would redo it to make it better.
I hope i follow through with this plan but if not i'll probably still do them every week if not everyday. haha